Tue, 27 Jun 2017 02:22:38 GMT
I need your peace and calm tonight. Many things spinning around in my head. I'm concerned about all the tests this week, and starting PT. It seems overwhelming to me. I am so tired. I don't want to do it anymore. I feel like rebelling. But I keep thinking of people so much worse off...I will stop complaining. Our bodies are not made of steel. I'm not Superman. I'm a tent. A simple tent. Tents get holes. And rips. And stains.
I know you will take care of everything. Help me to pace myself, to not think too far ahead. One day at a time.
Thank you that I am beginning my third week without the antidepressant. I think the steroids last week threw me. It felt so good for a couple of days and then I crashed. Is this how it feels for an addict? No wonder it is such a trap. The exhilaration of feeling one's body do unusually great things is a temptation I am not used to experiencing. I don't want it, not at the price people pay for it with their loss of control. I do like feeling less pain. Drugs. They are like sirens for the soul. No wonder their root word Comes from sorcery.