Mon, 29 May 2017 16:44:20 GMT
Father, I don't feel well today and I'm feeling anxious. It's not related to the tapering of the antidepressant. It's whatever other illness that is attacking my body.
My muscles and joints hurt again, really bad, and I feel the chronic fatigue I hate so much, Same old thing, and I'm wondering if it will ever be healed.
I know that's not faith, God, and I'm so sorry that I can't reach the level of faith I need to in this matter. Please forgive me, and by Your grace, increase my faith.
I pray again for healing with the faith I have...a mustard seed...but I believe You can heal me if it's Your will.
I thank You for healing in those other areas that are more important, spiritual and emotional healing. I praise You that You are healing me completely in both of those areas. You are awesome, God! You rescued me from the mental and spiritual snares of the Enemy. You lifted me out of the pit of sin and despair into Your glorious light.
Today, on Memorial Day, I honor You for the sacrifice you provided for my sins. I remember the horrific and brutal death of my Lord Jesus on the cross. He died so I could be saved from hell. My stomach hurts and my heart aches when I think of it.
I can never thank You and Jesus enough no matter how much I try, but I worship and honor You by giving my life to You to use as You see fit. Show me clearly what You want me to do, and I will do my best to do it.
There are so many times when I struggle to put one foot in front of the other because of this frustrating illness. But You always carry me when I can go no further and slide into self pity. You walk beside me when I need someone to lean on. You are walking in front of me now to lead me in the right spiritual direction. You always stand behind me so I don't fall.
I cannot comprehend Your amazing love and sacrifice. I ask that I feel Your love and compassion in every part of my life and that I feel Your presence every moment of every day. I love you, God.