Mon, 03 Jul 2017 14:40:55 GMT
"...great multitudes followed Him, and He healed them all." Matthew 12:15
Thank You for Your unconditional love that heals. Thank You for the emotional and spiritual healing You have given me.
It didn’t matter to you who those great multitudes of sick people were. As long as they sought You for healing, You healed them gladly and graciously.
You never asked them what they had done or not done, or if they had repented. You didn't require tremendous faith, and never told anyone that You would not heal them because they deserved to be sick.
You are that kind of Lord and Savior. Your love only requires that we come to you to be healed. At least that is how You healed people when you were alive and lived among us.
I can read this passage, and see your love and goodness, but I have difficulty understanding how You heal today. You don't have crowds following You, but some of us do continue to seek Your healing.
I seek Your healing. People in my family and congregation seek Your healing, but You don't physically heal everyone. In fact, it seems that most don't get well if they have cancer or another "terminal" illness.
Some get sicker and some die. Babies die.
Your healing does not seem to depend on the goodness or innocence of the sick person.
Have things changed so that you don't heal the same way? I'm trying to figure this out, Father. I'm not doubting Your love, or questioning Your desire for us to be well. I know You only want what is ultimately best for us.
I see people supposedly healed at "crusades", or reports from other people of how You have healed them in some miraculous way. Some are relatives who look at me with pity because I can't have enough faith to be healed of my illness.
They have prayed for me and said I was healed, but my illness always comes back, and it seems to be getting worse. Is something missing in my faith or life? You didn't require faith from those in the multitudes that followed you. Not every time.
I don't know what to do to get more faith. I can't make it up. I believe in You 100%; I love You as much as I know how, and I wouldn't love You any more or less if You healed me. Love is not somethingone barters. I can't believe in You more than I already do.
I confess I do doubt the healings I hear about or see. I can't help being skeptical. I know You do heal, or why would we bother to pray for it? But I don't believe You heal every time. I am so confused. I don't know the truth about all this, and I really want to know the answer. Please let me know if there is anything I need to change. Help me to understand.