Fri, 27 Jan 2017 18:29:11 GMT
Father, I don't understand why things happen as they do, but I also know that I don't have to understand. I trust you. You are my God and you love me. Nothing can happen to me unless it comes through you first.
I don't understand why I am getting sick again after so many years in remission when things are finally going so great. I finally don't have a lot of stress, and I've tried to take better care of myself. But I know there were a lot of years that I was overwhelmed with stress, and I didn't take care of myself. There are consequences when one puts too much stress on their body like developing Lupus.
I don't really understand about healing, Father. I know we pray for healing all the time, but if we already have something, do you make it go away by prayer? If not, why do we pray for it? This is confusing to me. It's like we pray for things like cancer to go away, but do we (I) really believe it will? There is this really nice man at church who had cancer and people prayed for him for a long time, then it went into remission and everyone rejoiced. But then the cancer came back a few weeks ago, and he is probably dying. I don't understand these things. I am not trying to question you or be disrespectful; I just don't understand. How am I supposed to pray about illness?
My aunt and uncle prayed for me four years ago for my Lupus to be healed, and a few weeks later, I went into remission. They said I was healed and not to say again that I had lupus or that would mean I didn't have faith in my healing, and the Lupus might come back. Now the symptoms are back, and I feel really bad. Did I do something wrong? Maybe I didn't have enough faith, but I can't help how much I believe or don't believe in something. I don't know how to handle this. Please help me understand and know how to pray. If I have Lupus again, I will accept it as something you have allowed. I know you will help me get through it. I know you love me and you are a good God. I just need help me to know how to pray for things like this for myself and others. I love you, God, and hope I haven't offended you by this prayer. I know I can talk to you without fear because you love me and because of your son, Jesus, in whose name I pray.