Sat, 08 Apr 2017 04:43:21 GMT
I think I may have sinned. I'm not sure, and I'm confused about it. I went to a worship event with a friend Friday night and Saturday morning. I thought it would be a good thing. However, the worship was strange to me, and I questioned in my heart if it was okay. But I liked it. I liked the music, and the lively expression of worship.
I should have sought advice from my brothers and sisters before I went, and prayed to you more about it, but I didn't. Even though it did not feel right Friday night, I went back Saturday morning.
Even though a part of me really liked it, a part of me felt confused and wondered if it was wrong. Were those feelings from your Holy Spirit telling me I shouldn't be there?
Now I'm thinking that maybe it was.
When it was over, I did not have a good feeling. I felt like I should not have participated in the worship, but then a part of me argued that it was okay and that I shouldn't be judgmental. Now I'm concerned about it because I feel confused about some things.
I'm too afraid to ask anyone at church because I guess I don't w ant them to know I made this mistake. That is also wrong, so everything is a mess now, and I don't know what to do.
Okay, Father, now that I have written all this out, I see how ridiculous it sounds. I'm making excuses. Like I am trying to convince YOU it was okay. It wasn't. I was wrong to have gone to that event, especially the 2nd day after realizing that questionable things were in their worship. Truth is I liked it, and I ignored all your red flags. Now it has left me with confusion which is definitely not of you.
I made a big mistake, God; I sinned. I should never have participated in that event. I am so sorry! Please forgive me, and please clear up the confusion that has come as a result of it. Please help me not to do anything like this again, and to have discernment and wisdom so that I can remain faithful to you. I am so weak, God. I need you to help me. I want to be stronger, but I feel like that lamb who always gets caught in the bramble bush. Please pick me up and wrap me around your neck to keep me safe. Do whatever you have to do to keep me from wandering.
Thank you for your forgiveness when I turn back to you. You are full of grace and mercy. Praise to Jesus who redeemed me. Thank you for your love for me and for your salvation. Please restore my joy and fill my mind with light and truth. I love you, God, and I am so sorry I hurt you.