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Sun, 12 Mar 2017 05:42:34 GMT

3/11/17 Dear God, Why do I keep doing this to myself? Why do I feel that I always have to be in control of everything...that I can fix everything? Truth is I can't fix anything, especially those wounded parts of my soul that you know are still broken. The brokenness is hidden deep inside me. I try to ignore it, or say I'll deal with it later, but you are always there waiting by the door to that place where all those broken parts are stored. You want me to open it and go inside, but it's dark and scary in there. There are monsters in there. Monsters of hate and unforgiveness. Monsters of betrayal, pain, and hurt. I'm afraid. Maybe if you went with me, I could do it. I could face my demons, real and imaginary. Maybe you could help me forgive. I want to open the door , God; I want to be healed. But not tonight. I don't think...I'm not ready. I need your help. I need you, God; please. Help me to do this. Please.