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Praise/Grief/Learning

Karen
Mon, 05 Jun 2017 22:29:41 GMT

Father, Today I praise you for the blessing of friends. I have so many, and they have been so good to me during this time of grieving over Peanut. That's one good thing about Facebook and the internet. A few years ago, I probably would have not told anyone except immediate family, but now I can keep in contact with so many friends and family who help to share my struggles. I praise you for providing all my needs, for loving me and giving me new life. Thank you for the Holy Spirit. Praise you for the many blessings I have in Christ, for my church family, and for bringing me to live in Alabama near my family. Thank you for Katie and Lindsay, who are like my kids...that their mom and dad are OK with them spending so much time with me, and are not jealous or envious of their affection toward me. Thank you that, although I did not have children, you gave me these girls to love as my own. Thank you for life...that I can breathe, talk, see, and hear. Never let me take that life for granted again. You created me for your glory, and I want to be that glory, Father. I want to shar e your love and your good news with others. Help me to look beyond myself and do that very thing. Father, thank you for Peanut, for giving him to me for seven years to provide me with love and companionship. I am so sad, and just sick thinking about what happened to him. It hurts so much. Please send your Holy Spirit as a comforter to me, and help me to go through this period of grief. Help me to not blame myself, which is what I am doing right now. I keep thinking I could have prevented it somehow. Help me to let it sink in that this was a tragic accident, and there is no blame toward anyone. Peanut snuck in the car and no one knew. It's no ones fault. Stop me from taking that familiar path of guilt and depression. Remove traumatic images and thoughts from all our minds. Help me to rebuke each negative thought and replace it with a positive one. Father, please guide me into truth as I study with Eugene about Premillennialism. I'm not good at this kind of thing. I think I'm right but what if I'm not? Does it even matter? You are coming back when you want to and doing what you want to do. It's not a salvation issue...or is it? I am so messed up when it comes to doctrine. I just don't know enough. Maybe I should just not even try to go beyond the basics. The thing is that Katie and Lindsay believe this now because I believe it. They look to me as example. It's such a huge responsibility. I may have taught them wrong, about this and other things. I don't know what to do except try to learn the truth and deal with it if I'm wrong. Please help Eugene and others who may be reading our discussion to be patient with me...to realize I'm learning. Thank you that both he and Randal are trying to teach me. Thank you that Vicki is going to help me. Help me to be humble and not get upset when others try to teach me. Though I am older, help me to be a child when it comes to learning about God and Jesus. Take away the pride factor and just teach me truth, Lord. Please don't let me ever lead Lindsay and Katie, or anyone, down the wrong path.