Tue, 13 Jun 2017 20:13:15 GMT
I ask that in your grace you will grant peace and calm to my mind and spirit. My soul feels like a turbulent sea right now.
I'm confused and a little upset about some things at church. I'm starting to feel like I'm sinking, and I'm still grieving for my little dog that I'm used to having with me 24/7.
I'm feeling some anger, Father; I hope it's not toward you, but my counselor says it may be. I thought I was beyond that.
I don't want to verbalized any feelings toward you that aren't positive because you are my Lord, my God, my best friend. The only one I am positive will never, ever leave me, and who loves me more than humanly possible.
If I am angry, it's not at you, not really; you never promised to make life go smoothly without any pain. I'm just angry at unhappy circumstances.
I'm sorry, God. I'm being ungrateful and unfair. Forgive me. None of my circumstances are your fault. I need someone to blame, but you're not the one.
Please, God, give me the clarity of mind to confidently find my purpose, and walk the path you've laid out for me. I don't feel confident today. I desperately need your wisdom and direction.
This is not a good time to be off medication; so many upsetting things have happened the past few days.
Yet it is the perfect time. I have faith, even in my distress, that you have healed me of depression. You will use this time as a test to show me that I can pass it. I will not look back nor turn back to chemicals to numb my emotions. You are holding my hand. You are in control.
I trust in your Love and promises and know that you will also heal this current stress.
Just as the sun rises each day against the dark of night, I know you will bring me clarity with your light. I thank you that your mercies are new EVERY morning, and you never tire of my failures nor my demonstrating my need for you.