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So Tired

Thu, 26 Apr 2018 10:22:11 GMT

Dear God, I'm so tired of being tired. I'm so sick of being sick. I feel like I'm dying. Am I? I know there are people who are much worse than me. But I'm not around them right now. It's only me, and I feel bad. It's 4:00 in the morning and the pain is keeping me awake. It doesn't seem to matter anymore if I'm asleep or awake. It all feels the same. I'm so pathetic, God. How do you stand me? I know I'm whining. Thanks for letting me. I'm so hurt by John. What's up with that? A christian brother doesn't treat his sister like that. It's my fault isn't it? I knew better than to let my heart out of my sight, even for a second. Better than to let my mind think the word love. Agape should have been the only word to leave my heart. Is it because of this stupid illness? If so, then I understand even less. There are far worse things that can spoil a relationship.