Prayer of the stubborn

Lord God, but I don’t want to! I want what I want, because I want it. Why surrender who I am? Do my desires not define me?! Why lose myself to another?

Besides, I know what’s good and right for me. And I have to love myself and watch out for myself, because nobody else is going to.

I can butt heads with the best of them. I know how to stand my ground. I have the best arguments.

But it’s tiring. And scary. And lonely.

Lord, help me. I admit, it’s hard to go it alone. Everybody is a potential enemy or at least an opponent to be beaten.

I can’t imagine giving up control. Letting you guide. Depending on your wisdom. Where in the world will that lead? And what if I don’t like it when I get there?

I know I’m living a fantasy. At some point, the bubble will burst. Things will escape my control. My argument will fail. My stubbornness will destroy me.

O God, I give up! I surrender! Yes, I submit to your will. Bring me peace, and joy, and love. Take it all, sweep away my shabbily built life, the shambles I have made of it.

Thank you for the promise of hope. Finally, I have something to look forward to. Finally, I can rest.

Father, in those moments when stubbornness rears its head and tries to yank the reins away, bring me back to safety.

5 thoughts on “Prayer of the stubborn

  1. alansmith77

    Randal, I always appreciate your prayers. So heartfelt. So God-centered. This one is one of my favorites. It will be saved and read (and prayed) many times. Thank you!

    1. J. Randal Matheny Post author

      Alan, very kind of you. Glad this prayer spoke to you. God bless your every good effort.

  2. Karen

    Is hardheaded and stubborn the same thing? If so then yep I know someone who could pray that. 🙂

  3. Ann

    This is where I am. I’m sick of battling with giving up my life to the Lord and then in the next second taking it back up again. Then I’m in bouts of fear and unease. I just don’t know how to break free from myself once and for all! 😭


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